How Fear Tricks You Into Staying Stuck
And How to Move Anyway
Sometimes you’re stuck. Even though you really want to do something — you even think you know the steps to take to get things moving — you stay put. It’s almost like something invisible is holding you back.
It can be fear — fear of not being prepared enough, not good enough, not ready. More often than not, it’s something smaller. A quiet hesitation. Constant overthinking. Or you're just waiting for the right moment to arrive.
Sometimes, you have good reasons to not act immediately. Or so you think. If you give yourself a little more time, you’ll be more ready and prepared. Which is a good thing, obviously. You’ll have time to exchange thoughts with experienced people, which will positively impact your actions.
Well… fear doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it disguises itself as logic, preparation, or even self-care.
Either way, instead of acting, you dwell. And with more time to do that, whatever’s holding you back gains momentum — growing roots that keep you from ever moving again.
In today’s article, we’ll explore how fear operates in the brain, how perfectionism contributes, and why imperfect action is often the key to change.
Our brain’s job is to keep us alive. Its primary goal isn’t to keep us growing.
It’s normal that our brains prioritize negative information. This phenomenon is known as the negativity bias. It means we focus more on potential threats, negative outcomes, and past mistakes than on positive ones.
Isn’t it natural, then, that many of us are wired to look for red flags — even if there aren’t any — instead of focusing on potential green lights? We tend to overestimate risks and underestimate rewards.
Research shows that negative events have a more substantial impact on our psychological state than positive ones of the same intensity.
Ask yourself:
What has been a bad experience in the past week?
What has been a good one?
Which one did you come up with faster?
Many of us will have an answer to the first question in the blink of an eye. The second one, though… let’s not go there.
Oh wait, right — that’s what this article is about.
Focusing on negative information fuels hesitation. It causes us to dwell on potential failures, increases overthinking, and leads to less action-taking.
In today’s world, where we’re constantly reminded to watch out for “walking red flags,” this bias can show up as excessive worry. We fear negative experiences, feedback, and failure. We hesitate to take proactive steps toward our goals. Because — watch out — things might potentially in some cases not work out. So… better not even try, right?
When our brain is wired to spot danger and exaggerate risks, it’s no surprise that we crave control. One way this craving shows up? Perfectionism.
We tell ourselves we’re just getting ready, gathering information, waiting for the right moment. But often, we’re not preparing — we’re protecting ourselves. From failure. From judgment. From the unknown.
Sometimes, “I’m just not ready” is fear in disguise.
Even when we know that something has to be done, it’s easier to stay in the comfort zone than step into the unknown — even if that unknown could bring positive change. So instead, we focus on preparing and perfecting. But are we actually planning on putting all that work into action?
When are we talking about preparation, and when is it becoming procrastination? When are we striving for excellence, and when is perfectionism keeping us from even attempting an outcome?
Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you were focusing so much on perfection that you completely missed the moment?
I remember one clearly. I was in a meeting with important stakeholders, and a senior director asked a question that landed right in my area of expertise. I immediately knew how to help.
But instead of speaking up, I started searching for the perfect words. I kept editing sentences in my head, trying to make them land just right. While I was doing that, a colleague jumped in and said what I had been thinking — not perfectly, but clearly enough. And the message landed.
That moment stuck with me. Not because I didn’t know the answer — but because I chose perfection over contribution.
A few years ago, someone I was managing took on a big project: rolling out a new process. She was excited — finally, a chance to show what she could do.
But instead of drafting something and getting feedback, she dove deep into research. She analyzed every possible option, trying to find the best approach. She wanted her work to be perfect.
The problem? What we needed was a quick solution — a minimum viable process that could evolve over time. But she got stuck chasing the best-case scenario and missed the chance to show what she was capable of.
I could see how much she cared. But striving for perfection kept her from actually doing the thing she wanted to be seen for.
Sometimes, all you gotta do is do something.
Clarity often comes from action — not before it.
Imperfect action can be exactly what’s needed. It builds momentum, generates feedback, and shifts your self-perception. You won’t always get answers before giving something a try. That’s okay. Allow yourself to learn by doing — to gain knowledge through experiments, messy drafts, and even mistakes.
Because no one ever grew by getting it perfect on the first try.
Take a moment to reflect. You don’t need perfect answers — just a willingness to be honest:
What’s something you’ve been putting off because you didn’t feel ready yet?
Big or small — a conversation, a creative project, a career move, or something personal.
What’s the story you’ve been telling yourself about why you’re not ready?
Is it about not knowing enough? Fear of judgment? Fear of failing?
What would one small, imperfect action look like?
Not a leap — just a step. A draft. A conversation. A click. A start.
What might change if you did it today?
Fear isn’t your enemy. It’s a natural emotion with a purpose.
But the real enemy? Inaction.
And the only thing standing between staying stuck and taking a step forward — is you.
This came at a “perfect” moment Martina 😍 thank you for sharing. I needed to read all this!