Who is paying your bills?
Is your career costing you more than it’s giving back?
I’ve been a proud and dedicated person running in a hamster wheel. For years, I loved giving my all to work - taking on more responsibilities than my job entailed, working unpaid overtime like I was in a competition. I thrived on the busyness of it all, wearing it like a badge of honor. Looking back, it felt like I was racing toward burnout with full intention.
I was a different person back then.
When we enter the workforce, we often try our best to fit in, make a good impression, and grow as fast as possible. We are young, eager, and hungry for more, more, more. We take on extra work, hoping it will lead to a positive review. We work longer hours, hoping the right people will notice. We watch our seniors do the same - effortlessly, it seems. We strive to be like them. Secretly, we hope to be even better. After all, why couldn’t we? We are younger. Smarter. More durable.
But when you enter this race, you don’t realize it’s actually a marathon. You sprint like the finish line is just around the corner. But it’s not. You have to keep running; for another 40 years. Maybe longer, given the way the world is going.
If you’re lucky, your hard work gets recognized. You earn promotions, salary increases, bonuses—shiny rewards that feel satisfying, at least for a moment. But soon, the achievement loses its sparkly polish, and you start running again. There’s always more to chase. More to achieve. Always more, more, more.
God, it’s exhausting.
But what choice do you have?
If you’re not part of the game, you’re not part of the gain.
It took hitting rock bottom for me to finally stop and look back. To see the distance I had covered, the relentless pace I had maintained - until it pushed me to my knees. And I asked myself:
Who is actually paying my bills?
I realized the price I was paying was too high. I gave too much and gained too little. Yes, big titles and matching salaries made paying my actual bills easier, but I was also giving up parts of myself that no work achievement could ever restore.
So why continue like that?
It took me nine months to peel away the costume I had willingly put on at the start of my career. With each layer, I had to confront false beliefs and an image of myself that no longer served me. Slowly but surely, I realized that just because everyone else looked good in pastel yellow, maybe pastel blue suited me better.
So I changed. Slowly. So incredibly slowly. But I changed. And I opened my eyes - and my arms - to a version of myself I had never even allowed myself to consider before. I finally found a path I actually want to walk, challenges and all. I may have even found my purpose (TBC on that).
It’s scary to leave behind what’s familiar - especially when it’s so widely accepted as the way things are. But it might be exactly what you need. And what you deserve.
So, I’ll ask you again:
Who is paying your bills?
And is the price you’re paying worth what you’re getting in return?
Because at the end of the day, your job can replace you.
But you can’t replace yourself.
Thank you for reading.
Enjoyed this, muchly. 💜