Why I Stopped Saying Yes to Everyone and How It Changed My Business
From People-Pleaser to Coach: My Journey to Saying No
It’s been one year since I started my coaching (side) business. I can still vividly recall graduating, my heart bursting with a mix of emotions: pride, inspiration, motivation, anxiety, hope, worry, and insecurity.
Scrolling through LinkedIn and talking to other coaches, I encountered two very different narratives: “Being a coach is the best job ever; we need more of them!” versus “Don’t even bother; the market is oversaturated.” These polarizing views can leave you bracing for the worst as you embark on your self-employment journey.
(Or is that just me?)
Over the past 12 months, I’ve experienced the full spectrum of emotions. And while the journey hasn’t always been smooth, it has been incredibly enlightening.
My Biggest Lesson
In the beginning, when clients weren’t exactly flooding in, I was eager to say “yes” to every opportunity. Every inquiry felt like a lifeline, and I ignored the nagging feeling in my gut during some introductory calls. When my instincts told me that coaching a certain client wouldn’t align with my values or working style, I brushed it off, labeling these feelings as self-doubt rather than what they truly were: warning signs.
“But who am I to turn down a willing client?” I thought.
After all, I’m a coach. Isn’t it my job to help anyone who needs it?
I also hesitated to niche down or define a clear target audience. To me, narrowing my focus felt like shutting the door on opportunities to learn, grow, and earn. The idea of filtering out potential clients seemed counterintuitive to building a successful business.
But here’s what I’ve come to realize:
Saying “yes” to everything isn’t the same as helping everyone.
The Power of No
Thankfully, I’ve also had the privilege of working with amazing clients - people eager to act, grow, and create meaningful change in their lives. These experiences deepened my skills, reinforced my passion, and clarified what truly matters in my work.
Looking back, these experiences helped me understand:
The types of coaching that align with my background, experience, and interests.
Who my dream clients are.
How to uncover the deeper desires behind a client’s surface goals.
These insights have shaped my ability to differentiate between clients I can genuinely help and those who may not find the support they need with me.
And that brings me back to my biggest takeaway: the confidence to say No.
Moving Forward with Clarity
I’m now in the process of updating my offerings to reflect these lessons. With a clearer, more refined strategy, I’m excited to serve both old and new clients in ways that feel authentic and fulfilling.
Looking back, I’m genuinely grateful for every experience - even the challenging ones - because they shaped who I am as a coach today. Without them, I wouldn’t have come to these important realizations. Along the way, I’ve also learned so much about coaching itself: how to leave my comfort zone, push past my worries, and grow beyond what I thought was possible. These lessons have been invaluable in ensuring positive and transformative experiences for everyone I work with.
I’m no longer afraid to say no to topics or clients that don’t align with my approach. While I want to help as many people as possible, I’ve learned to prioritize doing so for the right reasons - not out of fear or desperation.
It’s liberating to have found my niche and to embrace it fully.
Who knows how my business will evolve over time? That’s the beauty of this journey: it’s dynamic, adaptable, and full of possibilities. One thing I know for sure: my confidence to say No when it matters won’t change.
Thank you for reading. ♡
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Reflecting on my own journey, I've learned that embracing the power of "No" can be just as important as saying "Yes," ... easier said than done though ... but so important . thank you for this reminder.
Beautifully written! We often underestimate the power of NO but knowing when to say no to an opportunity is more than just about getting the dream client it’s also very much about respecting yourself, your worth and your values. I’ve learnt that saying no to whatever doesn’t feel right even when you’re in need of clients or money has been also a form of self-care to me. Thanks for sharing your experience with saying no!